I will give you my red colour To take away your sickly pallor. For you are so very choleric of complexion, Please beware the mounting sun and all dejection.
"Despair and Deception, Love's ugly little twins Came a-knocking on my door, I let them in Darling, you're the punishment for all of my former sins."
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Performed Reshes.
There are terrible and wonderful things happening. June and July is unglaublich.
"The door it opened just a crack, but Love was shrewed and bold My life flashed before my eyes, it was a horror to behold A life-sentence sweeping confetti from the floor of a concrete hole."
Friday: ELECTROHURTZ at the Mark, i.e. Clubbing... Drinking and "stuff". Saturday: I have no clue. Sunday: Atlanta Rollergirls. And more drinking...
"Well I've been bound and gagged and I've been terrorized And I've been castrated and I've been lobotomized But never has my tormenter come in such a cunning disguise."
current mood: "saudade" and "duende" current music: Nick Cave - "I let love in."
"Who are you steppping out in a torn tunic? Religion, true offspring of the Father on high. Why with such poor clothes? I spurn perishable riches. What is this book? The Law of my father which is to be venerated. Why is your breast naked? It is fitting for a friend of purity. Why do you lean on the Cross? The Cross is my only repose. Why are you winged? I teach men to fly above the stars. Why are you surrounded by rays? I dispel the darkness of the soul. Why is death hardpressed by you? Because I am the death of death."
O then I'm so sorry, father. I never thought I hurt you so much.
"There's a man who spoke wonders though I've never met him. He said, "He who seeks finds and who knocks will be let in."
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Performed Reshes.
Et expecto ressurrectionem mortuorum, et vitam venturi saeculi. Amen.
The tears are welling in my eyes again I need twenty big buckets to catch them in twenty pretty girls to carry them down twenty deep holes to bury them in.
October 30, 1766 Ingolstadt, Bavaria Vastly tired this morning as a result of a Hazardous Escapade from which I count myself lucky to have escaped without Grievous Harm to Life and Limb. Blumenfield did yester eve put to me that we should disinter the body of the hanged woman for the Advancement of Our Art and so after some talk I agreed and we approached our worthy teacher who warning us of the Dangers-for hanging is not the least penalty, one is likely to be torn to pieces by the mob should they learn of it-did then commend our diligence and whilst saying he would have no hand in it and would know nothing of it should it come to light, did call his huge manservant to him and gave him instructions that he was to help us. So home to an early supper and to acquaint Hunt that that night I was to a meeting of “fellows” and because of the dangers of the streets would after lie at the house of a friend, this because I thought it imprudent to return home mired in the early dawn. Then to take up my sword and so to Urqueharts to enter it by the small gate to find he had gone out but his man and Blumenfield and Messope and St. Clair gathered in the “work” room very comfortable before a fire smoking and discussing a flask of wine, and they very merry at my sword. So with them to pass the evening in pleasant discourse I growing somewhat drunk on the wine, very potent even to one of my skills; and when the clocks had struck the half after twelve to collect spades and grapples and to muffle ourselves in thick cloaks.
I was given a spade but betwixt the Wine and the Excitement of My Spirits did so catch it in my cloak that Urquehart's man did take it from me and give me the sack in which they carry the bodies this having a most foul and dismal charnel house odour. And so into the lane and to the graveyard where Messope was inspired to Belch loudly this causing Urquehart's man to swear vilely vowing that he would rather have a School of Apes to help him than such young turnip heads. The grave not easy to find there being very many in a small place and the moon did come out from behind the clouds the which I did not care for as we were more likely to be seen but with its aid to find where the mould had been newly turned. Blumenfield very vehement to dig up the coffin only this on being opened did prove to contain an old woman very foul and I to hope with all my heart that Venus Cloacina the patron of Sewers would watch over us this night so that we caught not some enervating distemper; then St. Clair on sitting down did find the ground give way beneath him and so we found the hanged wench and dragged her out and put into the sack which Messope and I did then carry between us and with great haste to the lane, all mired and sweaty.
Blumenfield did brew us a bowl of punch and we certainly in need of such a Specific. Fie, what a business this be, the Quickening of the Aweful Dead, at night when the powers of evil be abroad, amongst the tombs and the earth and the dreadful worms! Fit work only for men of Brutish Minds! Did resolve then to have no more of it, but on reflection realize that nothing is gained without labour and so as be the most noble of the Arts so the Gateway to it is correspondingly difficult and arduous to pass. Slept on a couch at the Urqueharts's, and so home this morning to Hunt's. Shall to bed early this night." - Vizegraf Johannes Von Russell †. Deceased. 1766 "Buch der kleinen Engel" translated from the German by Samuel Liddell MacGregor Mathers
"When justice is crushed, when evil rules supreme, then I come. For the protection of the good, for the destruction of the evil-doers, for the sake of firmly establishing righteousness, I am born in age after age." - Bhagavad-Gita 4.7-8
"This is the one about whom it is written, ‘Behold, I send My messenger before Your face, who will prepare Your way before You," - Matt. 11:10
"I am not he; but while nobody comes forward to prepare the way for him, I do so"
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Performed Reshes.
Too many parties to list for Halloween weekend... see you around.
current mood: Praeternatural current music: Nick Cave - Red Right Hand
"It is just that, in so terrible a day, and in the last moments of my life, I should discover all the iniquity of falsehood, and make the truth triumph. I declare, then, in the face of heaven and earth, and acknowledge, though to my eternal shame, that I have committed the greatest crimes but it has been the acknowledging of those which have been so foully charged on the order. I attest - and truth obliges me to attest - that it is innocent! I made the contrary declaration only to suspend the excessive pains of torture, and to mollify those who made me endure them. I know the punishments which have been inflicted on all the knights who had the courage to revoke a similar confession; but the dreadful spectacle which is presented to me is not able to make me confirm one lie by another. The life offered me on such infamous terms I abandon without regret." - 23rd Grand Master, Jacques DeMolay of the Knights Templar
"I shall follow the way of my master as a martyr you have killed him. You have done and know not. God willing, on this day, I shall die in the Order like him." - Guy of Auvergne, the Preceptor of Normandy Templars.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Performed Reshes.
Non stop running... and... and I have a most delicious and horrible crush on Saffron from "Republica". Farewell happy Fields Where Joy forever dwells: Hail horrours, hail. By the by, love is a mental illness.
Friday: 4th annual CASH tribute at the Star Bar and when I pour a PBR tall boy out for my dead Templar fraters. Who needs girls when you hang with the spirits of Johnny and Jacques? Saturday: Antiquing at the last Lakewood Antiques Market and ::HeXxt::. I'll be riding the 1763. Too bad they won't let me fire my flintlocks, old old old skool! Sunday: ?
current mood: anachronistic current music: Leonard Cohen - Everybody Knows
"Lucifer [Eosphoros] sails upon roseate wings, whom Venus [Aphrodite] rejoices to lead forth in a glorious sky." - Valerius Flaccus, Argonautica 6.527
"For what we do presage is riot in grosse, for we are brethren of the Rosie Crosse; We have the Mason Word and second sight, Things for to come we can foretell aright."
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Performed Reshes.
Gnostikoi, so much is going on I cannot say. “Audi, Vide, Tace”. You know how it is, baby. Daddy is always busy. There are wonderful and terrible things happening.
"My dear, do not think that you are alone. The legions are with you that tried and hoped, those now trying and hoping - the unborn to come, dreaming of a world to be - all, all are with you. The gods themselves bend and whisper at your doorway, and your windows are portentous with the possible hour. I have heard Aldebaran speak of you to Rigel, and the Pleiades whispering your name that is to be. All that I have and all that I am flared up in the birth fires that time, and left me just three tasks: to guide in infancy, to counsel in adolescence, to renounce in maturity to go outwards whence I came. If I was the one you could love, yet it was needful for you to learn contempt and hatred, and to equilibrate these again with Love. You have done it, and passed that fire. You have needed to know loneliness and terror and despair. You burn there, and it is passing. And now you come to the last unspeakable barrier, the ultimate thule, that you may labour long and painfully to kindle a small spark that will consume all you have - that will burn down the heavens as a torch, until even the black stars burn with furious joy. If you only knew the ache to dissolve, to pass away, to go, to be one; to drink utterly of the cup men call death or madness; to be away, at rest, at peace. But I will endure. I will do what must be done, to the last moment of putrefying flesh, to the last pulsation of a dying brain. Not for myself, not for you, but for the vision that I saw once - that is forever. One day my hands will fall away, and you will go alone into regions I cannot follow - take the sky in wings I have only known in dream. God knows, it is not my body that now speaks to you; that is a tedious thing of days, of dim awareness in the half-shadow. It is my spirit that spoke to you in the beginning, that speaks to you again now, that will always be with you, until we meet and fuse in the darkness of which all light is a shadow."
"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Performed Reshes.
It's going to be some kind of party... Busy weekend and even busier October!
"...Luciferi primo cum sidere frigida rura carpamus, dum mane novum, dum gramina canent."
"Her glossy hair was cluster'd o'er a brow Bright with intelligence, and fair and smooth; Her eyebrow's shape was like the aerial bow, Her cheek all purple with the beam of youth, Mounting, at times, to a transparent glow, As if her veins ran lightning." - George Gordon Noel Byron, 6th Baron Byron, Baron of Rochdale, Lord Byron.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Performed Reshes.
My net was out so I could not write, thankfully, over the show. The word made flesh. The logos. And these things watch over me even now as not to pour abject lament in heaps upon my head. Language is the salve to longing. The show was what it was for it's purpose. I have not lost my touch as I always fear, my faculties do not fail(HGA?). I think I know the score. There is that which whistles through my bones and hums in my blood.
Brother and sister together we'll make it through. Someday a spirit will lift you and take you there. I know you've been hurtin, but I've been waitin' to be there for you. And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can.
"The tree of knowledge is not that of life." - George Gordon Noel Byron, 6th Baron Byron, Baron of Rochdale, Lord Byron.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Performed Reshes.
I've in the past two months; received back my flintlock pistols fixed, went mad in the woods for five days(unfortunately without the pistols, but with smallsword), finished my show orders sooner than normal, went to a few parties, made some decent cash, fought the good fight, and trafficked with unclean spirits.
Pretty standard stuff for an Aghori, good times.
current mood: giddy current music: Mars, the Bringer of War
"O ye that have believed in me, honor my symbol and my image, for they remind you of me. Observe my laws and statutes. Obey my servants and listen to whatever they may dictate to you of the hidden things. Receive that that is dictated, and do not carry it before those who are without, Jews, Christians, Moslems, and others; for they know not the nature of my teaching. Do not give them your books, lest they alter them without your knowledge. Learn by heart the greater part of them, lest they be altered."
"I was, am now, and shall have no end. I exercise dominion over all creatures and over the affairs of all who are under the protection of my image. I am ever present to help all who trust in me and call upon me in time of need. There is no place in the universe that knows not my presence. I participate in all the affairs which those who are without call evil because their nature is not such as they approve. Every age has its own manager, who directs affairs according to my decrees. This office is changeable from generation to generation, that the ruler of this world and his chiefs may discharge the duties of their respective offices every one in his own turn. I allow everyone to follow the dictates of his own nature, but he that opposes me will regret it sorely. No god has a right to interfere in my affairs, and I have made it an imperative rule that everyone shall refrain from worshiping all gods. All the books of those who are without are altered by them; and they have declined from them, although they were written by the prophets and the apostles. That there are interpolations is seen in the fact that each sect endeavors to prove that the others are wrong and to destroy their books. To me truth and falsehood are known. When temptation comes, I give my covenant to him that trusts in me. Moreover, I give counsel to the skilled directors, for I have appointed them for periods that are known to me. I remember necessary affairs and execute them in due time. I teach and guide those who follow my instruction. If anyone obey me and conform to my commandments, he shall have joy, delight, and goodness."
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Performed Reshes.
Saturday: ::HeXxt::, Götterdammerüng Verkauf an "Le Petit Mort"!!!. A alcohol fueled Verkauf!!!
current mood: horny current music: Nina Hagen - He Shiva Shankara!
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necrophagi's journal
